Changing “What” to “Even”
Sometimes we can get stuck. Our negative thoughts, our worries, our fears...they can lead to paralysis by analysis.
When in doubt...we don’t.
We don’t do something because we don’t feel ready, or good enough, or the uncertainty of it all overwhelms us. It’s safer and more comfortable (so we think) to stay where we are. We can get so caught up in the hamster wheel of worry and overthinking that we don’t do anything simply out of sheer exhaustion.
I often find myself asking “What if?”
I was listening to a podcast the other day on overthinking things and how to handle the “What If’s” of life. Trish Blackwell (the host) said something that stuck with me. The gist of it was this: “try changing the What in ‘what if’ to Even.”
So, it would look something like this in my mind:
“What if?” Nope. Let’s reframe that way of thinking, Malinda.
Even if! There, that is much better! Change the uncertainty to an exclamation!
“What if” covers up my deepest fears. I have to face them. Then I can step from fear to power.
Recently I found myself worried about trying something new with a client of mine. Something I have never done before. I found myself saying things to myself like, “What if my client isn’t satisfied with the results?” “What if I mess it all up?”
What is it that I am really worried about? And what is the worst that could happen if I don’t try something new?
“What if my client isn’t satisfied with the results?” I am really saying, “I don’t want my client to be disappointed...in me.”
“Changing the ‘what if’ to ‘even if’ gives me power.”
“What if I mess it all up?” I am really saying, “I am afraid to try something new and fall flat on my face. I don’t want to fail.”
When I change the questions to “Even if’s”, I am forced to see that there are other options if my “what ifs” come true.
“Even if my client isn’t satisfied with the results...” I can rework things to make it better. She will most likely extend me grace. I can be sure that when I leave her home she is a satisfied customer.
“Even if I mess it all up...” I must realize I am a lifelong learner. I am an expert on a lot of things, but I am also a novice on a lot of things. I can’t become an expert without starting as a novice. If I mess things up, I will make it right. I will not miss the lesson. I will try again.
Changing the what if to even if gives me power. I know that even if my client isn’t satisfied, I have learned something. I have the opportunity to change and grow. I have the opportunity to change things. To hear that client more. To learn how to listen and work and be better.
What about you? Are you waiting to do something until you are ready? No one is completely ready for anything. There will always be uncertainty and uncomfortableness. The fear of being found out (imposter syndrome, anyone?).
We don’t have to be stuck in the paralysis that comes from over-analysis. Don’t let the “what if’s” stop you. Step out in the certainty that even if you fall, or fail, or make a fool of yourself, you are growing and learning and becoming.
What if I fail? Even if I fail, I will grow. I will move.
What if you fall? Even if you fall, you get back up.
What if I make a fool of myself? Even if I make a fool of myself, I still have true friends and family that love me anyway.